Original article posted in Your Tango

Post divorce you deserve to feel sexy and beautiful both inside and out — lingerie is the solution!

So here you are…divorced. Your marriage just ended, and all you want to do is cry, eat chocolate and stay in bed all day. Lingerie is sincerely the furthest thing from your mind. But it shouldn’t be. A fancy pair of panties and a matching bra may just be the ticket to get you feeling confident and beautiful—ready to take on not only your ex-husband, but also the world!

Good lingerie can be empowering. It can be playful. It can open your mind, and get you to think about yourself (and the possibility of being intimate with someone) in new ways. Lingerie helps you to celebrate being a woman; it accentuates your gorgeous curves with a bit of lace, as well as a strategic lift in just the right places with the miracle of modern day engineering.

Lingerie is Like Breathing…

It’s an absolute necessity! Well-fitting, expensive lingerie is the foundation to your outfit, and your mindset. What you put on under your clothes makes a huge difference. Not only in terms of the practicalities—how it holds you up or in, and what lines you can or cannot see under your clothing, but also how it makes you feel. By this point in life it’s probably a safe bet that you know when to wear a strapless bra, or choose full coverage panties or a thong. This is more about the “je ne sais quoi” qualities of gorgeous, beautiful, crazy expensive lingerie. You feel fundamentally different when you get all gussied up in Paris’ finest.

Oh La La

Let’s be clear here: the French make the best lingerie in the world. Hands down. No room for discussion. Even renowned American or British lingerie companies, such as Kiki de Montparnasse, Agent Provocateur and Coco de Mer, all have French names, and often make their products in France, because when you can’t beat them, you join them.

What to Buy

Invest in two sets of sexy lingerie, from purveyors such as Agent Provocateur, Kiki de Montparnasse, or La Perla. And then mix in some fun undies from places like Victoria’s Secret, Cosabella, Only Hearts, or Huit. Don’t just shop online—if you live near a metropolitan area, you must plan an excursion to a high-end lingerie boutique. Luxuriate in the experience of it. This stuff is not cheap! But shopping at these boutiques is a life changing experience. It is free theater and a support group all rolled into one!

Pamper Yourself

Here’s what happens on a typical visit to Agent Provocateur (a personal favorite). The fun starts before you set foot in the door. They usually have exquisitely dressed mannequins (or if you’re lucky LIVE models!) in the window. You enter the store, and it smells delicious. There is soft music playing—perhaps something French, definitely something sexy (think Josephine Baker). The lighting is flattering, low in the middle of the store, and theatrically dramatic on the lingerie…the walls are dark and sultry, sometimes punctuated with pink here and there, or a lace patterned overlay on the carpet. Furniture is upholstered in velvet or satin—very Bordello-chic. You are soon to be greeted by a usually curvy, vivacious woman tightly clad in her pink uniform unsnapped just enough so that you get more than a hint of whichever bra she happens to be wearing. She offers you champagne or chilled Perrier, and invites you to look around. Besides the incredible lingerie on offer, the best part of the experience is the service. Please, please, please, let them pamper you!

Go For It

Let them suggest pieces and sets that will fit you best. The lingerie does not look the same on the hanger as it will look on you. And these women are experts, and even if you may be, they are NOT shy! Let them come into the dressing room and help you get into the outfits. Chances are you are not even wearing the right bra size, and have been buying the wrong size your whole life!

The Take Away

Wearing lingerie requires a little bit of education—don’t be afraid! With expert guidance, you will look better and feel more comfortable. Even in a high-end lacy fancy number! Visit a boutique when you have a bit of time on your hands. Don’t be rushed. Try on things you would normally NEVER EVER think of trying. You will be pleasantly surprised. You don’t have to buy anything. But I encourage you to treat yourself to this experience. And if you do decide to make an investment in your wardrobe, and in yourself, this simple act may give you the confidence to try something else new…and then who knows what might happen next?

Kira Gould is a Certified Divorce Coach® who specializes in working with women who would like to get unmarried with clarity and compassion, and redefine a new happily ever after. Check out her website at https://www.getting-unmarried.com